so last night newcastle/man city/aston villa came in with a offer which includes a pay rise but i decided to stick with spurs to see them through difficult times. back on day one, i tired so hard to get on the team sheet and when i did, i found myself trying even harder to get on the score sheet. and i guess i did just about everything to try put that ball at the back of the net for at least once. trotting from box to box, red cards yellow cards, earned penalties missed penalties, hit the post, flashed it across goal, tipped over by the keepr, missed a volley missed a diving header, and squander sitters. the goal just would'nt come. damn.

-crazy note to my game

yesterday, my good fren said i lost my emotions.
today, i thought i had too much of it.
tmr, i think i have no where to hide.

if you rmb, like what you've said, there's always some moments in life you only got yourself to creep out of those fuck things thrown at you.

-stranger/familiar faces/stranger/familiar faces

its been a few fridays that i've been recieving the 'no soccer tmr' sms. not sure if i've mentioned before but i really am starting to lose the ability to picture a good, or decent, weekend. good weekend seems to be a past tense to me. seems like we're up with 90mins and running in injury time. i'd wish for extra time. im glad my best fren is someone who doesnt throw in the towel that easily. i'd wish i could do the same. and if there's extra time, i swear i would'nt hit the bottom like you've taught me. thats always present tense.

-weekend painkillers

Sometimes, the world is so darn fucking stupid. From football games, you have a fucked up old man to tell you what's right and what's wrong and then show you red.

sometimes i wish i could crack open a watermelon with my head.

the lack of things to do is making me a lil weak recently. and no football is making me even weaker. i even dreamt of playing football in my naps, pulling off those stupid stunts i used to do. it was like i could see it from a third person view and i found myself so amusing. better stop doing them in my future games. so besides lame dreams, its basically being a ganster(in playstation world), eating, sleeping and a little bit of dvd. i was thinking it would only be a matter of time before i get more stupid. hopefully i could find something to do soon, before i become a gangster in the real world.

but sometimes i think i dont have the strength